My daughter told me last night: "Mama, when I grow up I want to be a travel planner like you. But I'll plan trips for grandmas." I asked why grandmas. "Because they're the ones who actually have time to enjoy things." Out of the mouths of six-year-olds. She's not wrong though. I've spent 15 years watching travellers pack too much into too little time. The 6-city, 10-day itineraries. The "we can sleep when we get home" approach. The frantic rush from one attraction to the next. And then I watch the ones who do it differently. The retired couple who stayed in one Chengdu neighbourhood for a week and got invited to a local family's home for dinner. The solo traveller who spent three afternoons in the same tea house and ended up learning calligraphy from an elderly regular. The best China trips aren't the ones that cover the most ground. They're the ones where you let the country happen to you. Not bad advice from a six-year-old.

A client from New York asked me what I do when I get stressed. I told her: I read the Tao Te Ching. She looked at me funny — she was expecting "yoga" or "a glass of wine" maybe. But I've been reading it for over a decade now. Someone gave me a copy years ago, and it stuck. There's a line I think about a lot when work gets overwhelming: "The best way to fill a cup is to empty it first." (I'm paraphrasing — the original is more elegant.) I'm not saying you need to read ancient Chinese philosophy to enjoy China. But if you visit a Taoist temple — like Qingyang Palace in Chengdu or the temples on Qingcheng Mountain — sit quietly for a few minutes before pulling out your phone. Read the inscriptions on the pillars. Watch the incense smoke rise. You don't need to understand every character to feel what the space is trying to say. Most tourists photograph the building and leave. The ones who stay a little longer are the ones who remember it differently.

The best meal I've had this month wasn't in a restaurant. It was a ¥12 bowl of noodles from a lady who sets up her cart at the same street corner in Chongqing every evening at 6pm. She's been doing this for 18 years. Her broth simmers for five hours before she leaves home. The noodles come from a specific shop three streets over. She knows exactly when to scoop them for that perfect chewy texture. I brought an American client there once. He was nervous about street food. One bite later: "This is better than the ¥400 dinner we had last night." Here's what I've learned from 15 years of eating on Chinese streets: the best food is rarely in a guidebook. It's at the cart with the longest queue of locals. It's the lady who's been at the same spot for a decade. It's the place with one item on the menu because that's all they need to make. My advice: skip one fancy restaurant meal on your trip. Find a street cart. Point at what the person ahead of you ordered. Sit on a tiny plastic stool. It'll be the meal you remember.

My son asked me last week: "Mama, why do Chinese people eat with chopsticks?" I didn't have a good answer. So I asked my uncle, who's been a chef for 40 years. He said: "Because we cut everything in the kitchen. No knives on the table. The chopsticks are for picking up what's already ready." And that's actually a great way to understand Chinese food culture. Western cooking leaves the knife to the diner. Chinese cooking does all the work for you — meat sliced thin, vegetables bite-sized, everything ready to pick up and eat. The chopstick is just the tool that delivers it. The real skill isn't chopsticks — it's the rice bowl. Hold it close to your mouth and push food in. That's how locals eat. Keeping the bowl on the table and leaning down? That's what kids do (and my four-year-old still does it, sauce on his chin, every single meal). If you can handle chopsticks well enough to pick up a single peanut, you're better than most tourists. If you can pick up a slippery mushroom? You've graduated.